Of Bolton, DeLay, paper clips and rope

From the NYT: “Senator George Allen, Republican of Virginia, expressed vigorous support for Mr. [John] Bolton, saying two and a half hours into the hearing: ‘You'll bring a credibility to the United Nations that they sorely need.’”

Credibility and evidence of good will are hallmarks of the Bush administration. That’s why the White House nominated a United Nations-loather to represent it at the United Nations.

Perhaps you recall the Godfather II scene in which one of the Rosato brothers offered a C-note as a good-will gesture to Frankie “Five Angels” Pentangeli. Frankie said, “I take this as an insult,” which of course it was. Well, just picture Rosato as Bolton as Frankie Pentangeli as Kofi Annan and you’ll have a rather accurate snapshot of this nomination.

You may further recall that Kofi, I mean Frankie, then got garroted, although Kofi, that is, Frankie, survived the rudeness. So let Rosato, I mean Bolton, be confirmed. Then give him plenty of rope. “Serial abusers” don’t suddenly stop abusing. He’ll be a good boy for a while, but sooner or later Bolton will explode on the U.N. floor because some poor schmuck of a subordinate gives him properly vetted intel or says Carl Ford, Jr. is on the phone or some such thing. It’ll come, for sure.

Speaking of dead certainties leads me to think of another besieged creature of the right, Tom DeLay, who seems to have plotted a two-pronged, offense-defense strategy to fight divinely preordained indictment, resignation and incarceration. One, insist that there exists a “‘mammoth operation’ funded by Democratic supporters … designed to destroy him as a symbol of the Republican majority.” And two, point out that everybody else in Congress does it – that is, make a hobby of graft.

The first bit – the opposition is a “mammoth,” personal destruction machine lurking-in-the-wings bit -- is of course laughable. Democrats aren’t organized enough to get to the movies on time, let alone destroy a mighty “symbol of the Republican majority.” Even the top cur of all attack dogs, Newt Gingrich, ridiculed the idea, saying, "Well, that's the famous Hillary Clinton defense. This is the vast left-wing … conspiracy as opposed to her description of a vast right-wing conspiracy."

The second bit  -- the everybody does it defense -- has some merit, but not much.

It’s true, Tom, most every politician does make a hobby of graft. Still, there is the question of proportion, the question of control. For example, every office worker steals paper clips. It may be wrong, it may be petty, it may even legally qualify as theft – but Tom, they’re paper clips. You, on the other hand, are the hireling who doesn’t stop with paper clips or post-it notes. You’re the type who hauls home a copier, a fax machine, filing cabinets – you know, pretty much the store. It may all be stealing, Tom, but like I said, it’s a question of control, which you happen to be out of.

As other examples, every American cheats on his income tax if at all possible, while Al Capone got into trouble only because of his flagrant abuse of this God-given right. And in civil cases everyone is prone to lie under oath about really embarrassing, minor collateral issues, like illicit sex, but it’s not like some are singled out for hounding by the federa…. OK, bad example. But you get my point, Tom.

Notwithstanding the weakness of DeLay’s strategies, he is likely to stay on his little conservative feet for a while. I hope so. No one makes a better poster boy for congressional Democrats. Compared to DeLay, they all look honest. Dems should give him just enough air to keep struggling, and thereby making an ass out of himself and his party.

The same goes for John Bolton. Let him have the U.N. job. Hand it to him on a platter. His bosses consider the post a throwaway, anyway, so why waste it on someone qualified?

No, we’re stuck with these reigning bullies – DeLay and Bolton, to mention only two of thousands – so let’s give them plenty of rope, kick back, and watch as they themselves loop it over their necks.

Comments

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Bolton. Why hasn't he gone away? How can anybody take this guy seriously. He looks like a cartoon character from a very bad comic strip. The guy is a joke and has been publicly ridiculed for his absurd behavior. The Bush administration just keeps hoisting these looser creeps on us and we keep saying ok. It's clear that this criminal administration is stacking the deck to invade Iran under whatever pretences they can drum up. The have already crossed the point of no return by at minimum hiding evidence about 911. Why is it so many people have a hard time believing this lying group of thugs isn't constantly driving a secret agenda? We deserve to win this one. Get off the world stage Bolton you mustard faced slime bag.