The joke of botching, bloody idiots

You know, kids, if you don't make the most of it, if you don't study hard, if you don't do your homework and you don't make an effort to be smart, you're likely to get stuck in life as a Congressional Republican, or executive director of a right-wing pressure group, or even as a high official -- perhaps the highest -- in some reactionary White House.

Once you stumble that far, you're then likely to start putting our troops in harm's unnecessary way by invading non-belligerents by mistake.

And once you think you've done all you can do to reverse your country's progress, you are still primed to come up with brilliant ideas like splashing national security secrets -- say, "detailed information on how to build nuclear firing circuits and triggering explosives, as well as the radioactive cores of atom bombs," or "how to make tabun and sarin, nerve agents that kill by causing respiratory failure" -- all over the Web, for all to see, all over the already violent world.

Your crowning achievement, however, may be your refusal to apologize to every living, A-bomb-fearing soul on the planet for this series of fabulously idiotic blunders, followed by a staggering obtuseness in failing to acknowledge the harm you've done -- whether you meant to or not; it was what you actually did that counts, right?

Even terrorist-tolerating outfits like the United Nations and its rogue sidekick, the International Atomic Energy Agency, as well as namby-pamby European diplomats, will be "shocked" that you would download roughly a dozen documents that "constitute a basic guide to building an atom bomb," just so you could maybe, just maybe justify the slaughter of thousands to take out one, unarmed man.

But not to worry. You have an excuse. A good one.

Perhaps it's true that you didn't study hard and you didn't do your homework and you didn't make an effort to be smart; but in this great nation, in this unequaled land of moron-empowerment, that sort of thing doesn't bar you from rising to the very top. In fact, it helps. You are livin' friggin' proof.

You may also excuse yourself by saying, as a spokesman for the House intelligence committee did, that early and frequent complaints about your driving efforts to publish details of atomic bomb construction "didn't sound like a big deal" at the time. Because, after all, you didn't study hard and didn't do your homework and didn't make an effort to be smart.

What's more, you may claim some sort of infectious, osmotic stupidity that spills from your educated opponents, since you are forced to "watch Democrats neglect national security issues every day in the Congress," as a spokesman for House Majority Leader John Boehner has lamented.

When those vindictive folks who failed to see a "botched joke" as a traumatic, psyche-crushing episode for our fighting boys demand that you, in turn, apologize for the comparatively minor little booboo of downloading tidbits of atomic know-how to Kim Jong Il & Friends, stand strong and tall. Say you're a victim. Say when you were a kid, some horrific genetic mishap or chronic synoptic misfiring caused you to spend all your time honing cheap political skills of cheap political advantage as others were studying hard, doing their homework and making an effort to be smart.

And you can add: But hey, in the long run, which of us wound up on top?

Comments

[apleanee]

Absolutely fucking perfect. thank you

[5th of November]

Not only is he on top but look what else he and his cronies managed to do to the Constitution:
They violated the 1st Amendment by caging demonstrators and banning books like "America Deceived" from Amazon.
They violated the 2nd Amendment by confiscating guns during Katrina.
They violated the 4th Amendment by conducting warrant-less wiretaps.
They violated the 5th and 6th Amendment by suspending habeas corpus.
They violated the 8th Amendment by torturing.
The violated the entire Constitution by starting 2 illegal wars based on lies and on behalf of a foriegn gov't.
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