We harbor no doubts that God wants Bob to sign the Virginia General Assembly's anti-woman, pro-paternalism bill, or bills, as the holy case may be, since we harbor no doubts that Bob knows God, that Bob listens to God, that Bob understands God and all God's wishes. This, anyway, is what Bob has told us. And since we're godly, we believe Bob. Go Bob.
And good for you, God, for keeping Bob righteous amid so much secular wickedness (not to mention keeping Bob's hair even more perfect than Mitt's; Dante's gradations of Hell 'tweren't nothing compared to the Orders of Tonsorial Perfection revealed atop godly males' pates).
Thus it is with profound consternation that we learn Bob "is backing off his unconditional support for [the] bill." As the sainted president of the ineffably virtuous Family Foundation put it, "It is a change as far as I can tell."
What gives? God doesn't change His mind. God doesn't compromise. And God doesn't suffer pluralism, which is precisely why the Founders kept God the hell out of the U.S. Constitution. God has been correcting for that sinful human error since at least the 1970s; He has delivered unto us chosen pols, the Elect, so to speak, to set things Right, through His Righteousness. And you, Bob, are one of them.
So just what in God's name do you think you're doing, Bob? What's this backing off shit? The Virginia General Assembly's anti-woman, pro-paternalism bill once had your "unconditional support" -- "unconditional" being a trifle superfluous when it comes to describing the self-righteous politics of the truly righteous. Those would be yours, Bob.
Hang in there, Bob. The Devil is tempting you with a Veep slot. Don't listen. Avert your eyes. Fight for that bill, just as it is. And you sign that bill, Bob. Because God is no democrat, or republican, and Righteousness never compromises.
Dear P.M.: Thanks for giving me a much needed laugh!!
Posted by: SueMe | February 22, 2012 at 09:46 AM
I can only assume your tongue in cheek advice is designed, if taken, to produce The Last Temptation of Bob.
Posted by: Peter G | February 22, 2012 at 12:04 PM