Whew. It looks like Mitt Romney has managed to quiet the rumblings of imminent war with Great Britain, thanks to the former's shrewd exploitation of our two nations' special, Anglo-Saxon relationship. The perils of an Indonesian-socialist president of African descent never crossed our intoxicated minds back in 2008; but now, having inched to very edge of armed conflict with our white brothers and sisters, we know better.
Still, there's hope for the once-invading horde of socialist black men in America. After all, the Brits once regarded the unwelcome Angles and Saxons as real barbarians, until they met--O Jesus Christ O'Mighty!--the Vikings.