I had forgotten precisely why I no longer watch the Oscar's dreadful self-indulgence until last night's precipitate reintroduction to it, which is to say, supporting actor Christoph Waltz's right-off-the-bat gorgefest of upchucking thanks to about a dozen folks no one has ever heard of, 'cepting Quentin. And since Mr. Waltz, or so I was sure at the time, would prove himself one of the lesser offenders against merciful brevity, I nixed the whole thing.
Sure enough, things got worse. Writes WaPo's TV critic, Hank Stuever:
While some guy was accepting his Oscar for visual effects ... something new and wonderful happened: He went on too long and got the "Jaws" theme from the orchestra, which crept up on him and audibly devoured his words as he kept thanking people.
It’s a brilliant and overdue remedy to Oscar night’s oldest problem, and it should be a fixture of all award shows.
What's more, another real groaner preceded even the inevitable first awfulness of endless thanks:
"Tonight, for the first time, the Oscars have a theme," [host Seth] MacFarlane announced in his opening monologue. "We will be celebrating music in film."
Oh, for the love of Pete. Must we?
Evidently they must, year after awful year, as the ceremony's producers search for something to fill up the time between commercials--something, anything except, oh, maybe film clips?
At any rate, all seemed to end reasonably well, as I discovered in an economical three minutes this morning versus a heavy investment of three hours last night. "Argo" is every bit as fine a film as "Lincoln," so no complaint there, and Daniel Day-Lewis just gets better and better. And the morbidly overrated "Playbook" really did have a silver lining, in that it got skunked, although its Jennifer Lawrence justifiably did not.
On "Les Miserables" I cannot comment, since I have not and never will see it, so I'll recue Stuever: "best supporting actress winner Anne Hathaway’s [delivered a] predictably ooky, near-tears wish that nobody should ever be as poor and desperate as Fantine."
I'm sure she thanked Victor Hugo, though.
My wife could not take her eyes off the red carpet special and I watched the opening to see what Seth would come up with. Loved the shot of Theron as McFarland and company did We Saw Your Boobs. Thereafter it played muted in the background so I could, if my scout and trusted pal (wife), alerted to rewind should anything noteworthy befall. Bless that woman! There exists no electronic device that knows my taste and can call out from the bedroom where the second TV resides, check this out! If there were commercials they did not intrude on my conscious mind. I just saw all the good bits, such as there were. Such is the kindness of love.
Posted by: Peter G | February 25, 2013 at 08:30 AM
I did watch with some friends online to play a little drinking game I invented over twenty years ago called- Spot The Facelift.
I'm going to have to change the rules in the future if I ever want to make it past the red carpet.
The whole event is one big circle jerk. Soooo,, tired of rich people "honoring" one another with ugly chachkies.
Posted by: Susan Zoon | February 25, 2013 at 09:34 AM
I was once married to someone "in the business" which made these types of shows even more interesting. While I wholeheartedly agree with PM's reaction to the endless thanks, I must say something in defense of the winners.
These people are absolutely obligated to mention as many people as possible, and not just in terms of peer pressure. It is free advertising to the real audience - the other people "in the business". It is just like the credits at the end of a movie that lists everyone including the lunch wagon. The lunch wagon REALLY wants the advertising.
Otherwise, I generally enjoy it in the same way that I used to enjoy going to a friend's home for Thanksgiving and watch his dysfunctional family.
I believe the best line on Hollywood is, "high school with money."
Posted by: Robert Lipscomb | February 25, 2013 at 09:49 AM