I had forgotten precisely why I no longer watch the Oscar's dreadful self-indulgence until last night's precipitate reintroduction to it, which is to say, supporting actor Christoph Waltz's right-off-the-bat gorgefest of upchucking thanks to about a dozen folks no one has ever heard of, 'cepting Quentin. And since Mr. Waltz, or so I was sure at the time, would prove himself one of the lesser offenders against merciful brevity, I nixed the whole thing.
Sure enough, things got worse. Writes WaPo's TV critic, Hank Stuever:
While some guy was accepting his Oscar for visual effects ... something new and wonderful happened: He went on too long and got the "Jaws" theme from the orchestra, which crept up on him and audibly devoured his words as he kept thanking people.
It’s a brilliant and overdue remedy to Oscar night’s oldest problem, and it should be a fixture of all award shows.
What's more, another real groaner preceded even the inevitable first awfulness of endless thanks:
"Tonight, for the first time, the Oscars have a theme," [host Seth] MacFarlane announced in his opening monologue. "We will be celebrating music in film."
Oh, for the love of Pete. Must we?
Evidently they must, year after awful year, as the ceremony's producers search for something to fill up the time between commercials--something, anything except, oh, maybe film clips?
At any rate, all seemed to end reasonably well, as I discovered in an economical three minutes this morning versus a heavy investment of three hours last night. "Argo" is every bit as fine a film as "Lincoln," so no complaint there, and Daniel Day-Lewis just gets better and better. And the morbidly overrated "Playbook" really did have a silver lining, in that it got skunked, although its Jennifer Lawrence justifiably did not.
On "Les Miserables" I cannot comment, since I have not and never will see it, so I'll recue Stuever: "best supporting actress winner Anne Hathaway’s [delivered a] predictably ooky, near-tears wish that nobody should ever be as poor and desperate as Fantine."
I'm sure she thanked Victor Hugo, though.