My office--headquarters of the International Brotherhood of the Profoundly Bewildered--has issued the following statement in response to Benny's abdication: "No comment."
For what comment of any real significance is there to issue? We here at IBPR have never comprehended the metaphysical profundity of some little man dressing up in white robes and a pointy hat and hailing himself (along with one-point-two billion others) as Christ's Vicar, when we don't even know if the divine possessive comprehends it. Or cares. Or exists. Thus the profoundness of this mystical splendor of the Holy See is lethally clouded by even profounder doubts.
IBPR does note Think Progress' gallant effort at mirroring the globe's interest in the comings and goings, as it were, of 2,000-year-old doctrinal prejudice and occasional flickers of secular decency, but its on-the-one-hand, on-the-other-hand assessment seems to be rather a wash, as one might expect.
Notwithstanding our ritual negativity and naked doubt, we here at IBPR do look forward to another dramatic round of puffy balls of smoke.
Two words...international Immobiliare!
(Am I the only one who liked Godfather III ?);->
Posted by: Susan Zoon | February 11, 2013 at 10:34 AM
Very funny piece! As a recovering Catholic, I never could believe in the significance of this pope. Always found it presumptious on his part for him to roam the world and expect everyone to roll out the red carpet.
Posted by: Anne | February 11, 2013 at 11:07 AM
A couple of interesting sidelights on this.
1) The Borowitz Report suggests he's already decided to come out of retirement: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/02/popes-decision-to-come-out-of-retirement-stirs-controversy.html. Given the fabulous clothes he wears, perhaps "come out" should be viewed in a different context.
2) If he really does retire, will he change his Twitter address to @Pontif_Ex?
Posted by: shsavage | February 11, 2013 at 12:10 PM
As the popest with the mostest, shsavage, shouldn't that be @Pontif_ExMaximus? As an atheist brought up in the Catholic church I share most of our insubstantial overlord's misgivings about the point of it all. The pragmatist in me worries about stupidity. Perusing the blog commentary on both the left and the right leads me to believe the right is less stupid about this then the left. Many comments reflect the fact that anti-Catholicism is the last fashionable prejudice to which one may give public voice. So many think this particular church should be crushed out of existence with fines or incarcerations. That's the point at which I like to inject a little reason. Latinos are mostly what? What is the percentage of the American electorate who still identify as Catholic? I am an atheist but I am not an idiot. This member of local 519 of the IBPB wonders why many of the progressive set think pissing in the cornflakes of a very significant demographic group electorally speaking is somehow inviting to them and not at all offensive. It's just bewildering.
Posted by: Peter G | February 11, 2013 at 12:44 PM
Many in the progressive set think pissing in cornflakes, anyone's cornflakes, is their raison d'etre.
Posted by: Janicket | February 11, 2013 at 01:13 PM
Touche.
Posted by: Peter G | February 11, 2013 at 02:45 PM
Give the man credit, at least, for knowing when enough is enough. And, that he is too old, sick, and infirm to carry on. Can rationality be infecting the Holy See? One can hope!
Posted by: BobH | February 12, 2013 at 03:53 PM