My deal with the Vatican

I'll make a deal with the cardinals.

I'll gladly convert from my profound agnosticism to a serviceable Catholicism if they'll elect as pope a black lesbian or brown bisexual who promises to never publicly pray on Easter for world peace or to suffer the little children at Christmas and instead accepts our indifferent God's wisdom that the eternal choice of global civility and human decency lies entirely in our hands, not His.

Boys, perhaps God wouldn't be so indifferent--I know I wouldn't be--if He saw some actual earnestness down here for a change, which could start with something completely different, like a lesbian pope.

Deal? 

Comments

[Peter G]

I'm guessing not. For myself I will have to stick with my equally profound atheism regardless of the outcome of negotiations. If I were to depart even slightly from that and admit the possibility of a creator interested in it's creations I would also have to accept that it is a malevolent asshole.

[Jim Milstein]

I think, PM, that you would be more comfortable in my church, the Stochastic Church. But, flip a coin, it's your choice.

[Anne]

I love your piece. As a recovering Catholic, I find the whole pope-thing absurd, and the Catholic church even more so.