That Huey Long of Arkansas -- Now He's Going Down, Too?

One almost pities them. Every time Republicans start narrowing their choice of presidential candidates, they get the head handed to them by the vulturous press or some antagonistic, oppo-research operation. So they move on to the next Great White Savior, only to witness another beheading.

And it's starting to look like when all is said and done, they'll be left, through a savage attrition process and by sheer default, with the one candidate they largely like the least: John McCain.

The latest victim of easily scooped-up scrutiny is the Most Right Reverend Michael Dale Huckabee, the one-time Southern governor who now appears to have been but another Huey Long, without the demagogic charm.

And that's no exaggeration. Reading this morning's New York Times piece on Huckabee's executive tenure is like strolling through the Louisiana statehouse, circa 1930s. "Against the political advice of his party and his aides," reports the Times, "[Huckabee] pardoned or commuted the sentences of hundreds of convicts, including murderers, sometimes over the heated objections of prosecutors and victims’ families" ... just like Huey ... "He was cited five times by the state ethics commission for financial improprieties" ... just like Huey ... and he "unapologetically accepted tens of thousands of dollars worth of clothes and other gifts while he was governor" ... just like Huey.

In 1999 alone, for instance, Rev. Mike "reported getting $112,366 in gifts," damn near twice the amount of his salary. But my favorite? He also used "a state fund meant to operate the governor’s mansion for personal family expenses like pantyhose and meals at Taco Bell and Kentucky Fried Chicken." The story does not specify for whom the pantyhose were, but at least we now know how the governor came to be the bloated hunk of trans fat he once was.

Also like Huey, he actually did some good for his state, albeit through a brutal arrogance that vastly annoyed his own political camp. For example he pushed through "a major expansion of health insurance for children of the working poor whose families did not qualify for Medicaid," which left ultraconservative neanderthals like Peggy Jeffries, "then a Republican state senator and now executive director of the Arkansas affiliate of the Eagle Forum," wouldn't you know, sputtering "None of us understood what he was trying to do." About that, Peg, I have no doubt.

Huckabee also "confounded Republicans ... when he pushed for a fuel tax increase to finance an ambitious road-building program," which, again, is reminiscent of Huey and his ruthless surcharge-taxing of Louisiana oil companies to pay for the governor's pet projects. One can quibble ideologically over Mr. Huckabee's executive desiderata -- whether, that is, they were advisable or not -- but the sticking point for Republicans, politically speaking, is that Mr. Huckabee was, it seems, exceedingly brutish about them. GOP pols prefer that graft be spread around evenly and politely, and this, Mr. Huckabee did not do. "If you don’t line up with him, Katie bar the door," is how one former Republican state rep remembered his merciless meetings with the impolitic governor.

In short, Mr. Huckabee did not at all play well with other Republican sachems he now needs, while he seems to have had a rather luxurious time doing it -- and at the ideologically opposed, taxpaying rank-and-file's expense. To be even shorter, such things will not bode well in the primary marathon.

Moving on down the thinning line, off-and-on varmint-hunter Mitt Romney is forced to spend more time these days explaining what the meaning of "saw," is, than laying out the finance-capitalist utopia he was on the verge of delivering unto us. He, too, appears to be going down, and the only thing keeping him afloat for now are the hysterically desperate voters transferring from the doomed Rudy Giuliani, who last I heard had gone from a nearly 20-point lead in Florida to third place.

Of course there is always Fred T. Who?, but he seems to be on permanent sabbatical at a rather inopportune time, and unavailable for comment or anything else of interest. And naturally there's Ron Paul, who's anti-imperialist message is about as unnatural a match for imperial Republicans as Dennis Kucinich's. So let him rake in all the cybercash he wants. I just hope he saves some of it for a nice, long vacation in the Bahamas, once this silliest of seasons is over.

Hence, through attrition and default, Republicans could likely homestead where they were supposed to from the start -- in the House of John McCain. But I doubt enthusiasm will be bubbling over.

It's true the Arizona senator has his own history of ethical lapses that could do damage; but those were so 1980s, when ethics were uniformly abandoned as unbusinesslike in Reagan's America. No, what will make the faithful cringe is the senator's present and despicably tolerant attitude on immigration. Yet, what -- literally -- choice do they have left? The rootin-tootin and utterly anonymous Duncan Hunter?

The season upon us may be silly indeed, but for those of us on the outside of the Republican circle of angst, it sure is fun.

Comments

[Big Ro]

I think you are largely on point in terms of Sen. McCain eventually winning the Repub nomination for President. However, I think you may underestimating his ruthless willingness to flip-flop on any issue in order to gain the prize he so lustfully covets. Take, for example, his utter about face on the religious right. He for a long time swam against his parties current on this issue. Then, in order to move further to the right, he bandoned it completely. I think he'll do the same on immigration. He did it on the Iraq war as well. As for the religious right: they are as hypocritical as any repub could ever hope to be. They have embraced Romney and ignored huckabee when it was politically expiditious. When huckabee seemed to be rising, they suddenly remembered their so called principles and surged toward him. As Huckabee's real record comes to light, I have no doubt they will regain their political amnesia and decide that McCain is somehow okay. McCain, for his part, will say anything to get elected, which is to say, he's a perfect Repub.

[CScheid]

Yes, this is great fun watching them trying to find the lesser of a bunch of evils. I only hope that the Republican election-theft machine isn't able to let the buffoon win.

[Dan Van Riper]

Yes, the Re-pubs are a pathetic bunch. But when have they not been?

Three out of four people still trust the corporate media. That means the corporate media still has the power to determine our choices for us. And you can be sure that whatever pathetic excuse for a human that gets chosen by the Re-pubs will be anointed a virtual saint.

And the Democrat will be made out to be a piece of dirt, the very picture of a Re-pub. Let's not laugh and be happy quite yet.

[Danzel Williams]

Ron Paul - You seem to forgot about Ron Paul who is winning every straw poll out there. Paul is a leading candidate in Republican straw polls, though he has substantially lower numbers in landline opinion polls. He has strong Internet support, leading in web searches and YouTube subscriptions. On December 16, 2007, Paul had the largest one-day fundraiser in U.S. political history, raising over $6 million in 24 hours through a grassroots effort, organized independently from the official campaign.

It's the media and people like yourself that do not give him the credit YET. Once he wins Iowa, things will get interesting I am sure of it.

[FU]

You yourself say that all these bought and paid for Republicans are nothign but corrupt and cowardly thieves, liars, and crooks. A LOT of people are waking up to this fact.
However, this is the best you can do to try to descredit the only man of integrity running in EITHER party? That he has no chance? You and the rest of the propaganda machine can keep telling yourselves that, it only gives us more fuel.
You and every other mouthpiece who desperately years for the status quo, speaking of the Constitution as an outdated monolith are nothing but traitors and liars like the politicians you are groveling on your knees for. These clowns have scandal after scandal yet Ron Paul has no chance. Riiiiight....don't worry your deeds and your heart will be known to all.
Traitor. Coward. These are about the nicest things I could say about an ignorant hand puppet like you. It was a complete waste of time to read this filth.
I'd seriously consider minding your words abbout Dr. Paul, as he is about the last hope to keep the first amendment and these wannabe dictators won't have much tolerance for anything but rearlicking. This post in itself would be enough to go to Guantanamo, never mind that you're still serving their interests/ Is that the type of weorld you want to live in or do you even have the vision to see that your nation has become a Fascist police state, and you are trumping up mindless larcenists.
Indeed, if Dr. Paul has no chance, then you and everyone else are dumber than I thought and deserve your slavery.

[Muldoon]

I donno, seems to me the Dems would do well to lay low, keep quiet, and wait until after the Repubs have picked a candidate before airing his dirty laundry. Right now, it's hard to see how any of the GOP front-runners could be electable. Why waste good ammunition this early in the game and leave the door open for McCain or some (as yet) unkown to casually saunter in and scoop up the nomination?

[William G.]

Huckabee is doing the John Kerry. All he has to do is smile, the proxy media does the rest. I love watching how these bozo's ghost numbers are tweaked and altered as the show rolls onward. They (Neo-Cons)would prefer Hillary back in the Whitehouse, but way too much is at stake, (her and her husbands past just won't go away) and they realize that with all the dumbing down programs and disinformation fronts, America still isn't buying any of it.

Not only that, they realize the self-serving system might be in danger of a frustrated America taking back it's country, not by the unreliable voting outlets, but by force. It's been done before.
I can easily picture Huckster Huckabee probably getting himself a nice present of various naked young men stuffed in a secret basement somewhere. {NOTE: Politicians are a dime a dozen in America, only those who are easily blackmailed are allowed into the higher decks.} So long as he plays the, "I got a chance" card to the hilt, and makes it look like the people that would vote for Ron Paul, they would change they're minds at the last minute and move on over to Huckabee. That is if the media can make it appear he is gaining ground over Ron Paul.

My money is still on Gore making a late entry, say during a major climate crisis. He's being instilled in all our minds as the face (saviour) connected to nature and the man to have the answers when the heavier earth changes kick in.

[AB]

It's silly to try to venerate any politician. The best of them (whoever you think that may be) is still a professional liar with a vested interest in a very corrupted system. (Here's where the Paulies and Kucinich supporters start talking about their candidate's incorruptibility. Just smile and nod.)
Huckabee will not survive in full sunlight. McCain's been in full sunlight for decades.

If there is anyting to the "media-as-kingmaker" dynamic, (Some of us agree with Stalin that it's all about who counts the votes.) McCain's time could come around. We could do worse. He's actually got some anti-corporate bona-fides (unlike some Democratic candidates we could name) and I don't think he'll half-ass it in he Middle East. Smart guy, capable leader, populist leanings, probably a little less corrputed than most. Welcome to Realpolitik, kids.

[Talcott]

Generally a good take, however hastily

Ron Paul is discounted.

[Bobby Decker]

I stil think Republicans only
chance of wining...in the highly
unlikely event FOX NEWS isnt able
to make Hillary the Democratic
nomine ....all they have left is milking 911...that means Mayor
GOOGLEY ON E....and look for Joe
Leiberman to be the Zel Miller
of the 2008 Republican National
Convention

[Thom Douglas]

The Huckster commuted the sentences of more than 1,000 inmates. This is twice as many as the previous 4 governors combined. He accepted gifts in excess of $100K per year, some from people he appointed to state positions. One of the oldest methods of making pocket money in the Governor’s job is to accept a little “love offering” to let someone out of jail. Don’t be fooled by his excuse for letting crack sellers out of jail because they found Jesus there.

[chanceny]

The Huckster is the embarrassment cross the slimeball hypocrites deserve as their front runner. He carries their torch/cross with affability, so the media adores him. McCain will probably wrench the fearful amongst the rank and file asswipes unto his choice, but that cat is OLD and the baggage under his lyin eyes is equal to the effin luggage he carries from his many ass-kissing photo-ops with such laudibles as Falwell and the mighty end-times predicting crusader, Hagee. Strange bedfellows for a guy who wants to be the next great unifier. Good times are a'comin! Happy whatevers to you all!!!!

[Dave]

William G.:

You include Ron Paul as a politician who "is still a professional liar with a vested interest in a very corrupted system." Yet, you fail to provide proof or evidence. Do you realize how much this evidence is worth, were it actually to exist? Call Sean Insannity right away. His $20 million contract is in jeapordy. If you, or any one else for that matter, have any, please share or STFU. Your crap is getting old and stale.

And your hero, McCain, the guy who flunked history, "probably a little less corrputed than most." Oooooh. That should make us all feel real warm and fuzzy, and just hoppin' to jump onboard before the McCain't mutiny begins in earnest.

Keep smiling. Keep nodding. It's just a bad dream. You'll be back asleep in no time.

[AngelaBridget]

Bonjour. ! Bonne annee 2008.!