Long John Ensign, unhappy homemaker, typical GOP hypocrite

Yes, as the Washington Post reports to absolutely no one's surprise, yet another fallen Puritan slithers among us: Sen. John Ensign, "considered a rising star in the Republican Party, yesterday acknowledged an extramarital affair with a former campaign staffer who is married to one of the lawmaker's former legislative aides."

But here was the choice part: "He flew home yesterday morning after informing GOP leaders on Capitol Hill of his impending announcement" -- to which those GOP leaders almost assuredly responded, Oh, is it your turn this month?

We simply never realized, until the advent of the modern GOP, that the protection and preservation of family values entails porking every willing and available lass within grabbable sight, or, if the family-values protector so prefers, as has sometimes been the case, every laddie within sight.

It's sickening. Not the adultery part -- most among us couldn't care less about that. John Kennedy, for instance, perhaps the all-time greatest debaucher, tried setting an unbeatable record for getting illicitly laid, and no one in the know cared then, or now, but only because he refrained from lecturing you about keeping your pants on (my apologies, ladies, for the gender-exclusiveness, but it always seems to be the male politician who strays) and devoting yourself to the idyllic fireside contentment of family warmth.

In short, to each his own, although I can't say I'm an advocate of Kennedyesque comportment. I tend to agree with his predecessor Harry Truman, who contended that if you can't trust a man to keep his zipper up while away from his wife, you can't trust him on anything. But, whatever. I have my own swinish faults to conquer.

What really rankles, though, are folks like some right-wing apologist I suffered on some news show last night, muddling, as he did, the partisan distinction.

Oh, boys will be boys, he said, whether Democrat or Republican. The first part is true, but only one of the latter is likely to croon moralistic sermons in your bedroom, after having just banged "a former campaign staffer who is married to one of [his] former legislative aides."

Comments

[John]

Whoa!

Don't apologize to the ladies! It appears that we had both a G.O.P. adulterer as well as a G.O.P. Adulteress involved here. Neither sex could keep their pants or panties on.

"Church at eleven! Hurry kids!"

[Shenanigan]

In Left-Right Fantasyland, Democrats don't have affairs. Likewise, Democrats don't pander to both the religious and non-religious during election cycles. Only Republicans are moral hypocrites. John Edwards who?

Good lord. The only thing worse than the things that both parties do is the fact that so many people still actually believe there is some sort of fundamental difference between the two, like a two-headed snake is two different species.

[Geocheese]

Maybe he should have had David Letterman apologize....twice... for his sins. Just think what it would have done for his ratings! But it always seems like the GOPers that are pontificating about being in the "Moral Majority" over the Dems. Hypocrits will be hypocrits, I guess.

[Helen Rainier]

Shenanigan, Hmmm, don't know how you interpreted the commentary to insinuate that Democrats don't have affairs. In fact, I read quite the opposite specifically using JFK as an example of Democratic moral turpitude. I quote: "John Kennedy, for instance, perhaps the all-time greatest debaucher, tried setting an unbeatable record for getting illicitly laid, and no one in the know cared then, or now, but only because he refrained from lecturing you about keeping your pants on (my apologies, ladies, for the gender-exclusiveness, but it always seems to be the male politician who strays) and devoting yourself to the idyllic fireside contentment of family warmth."

What I ALSO read was that it is more than likely that the Democratic politician won't pontificate oh so piously about how terrible it is to engage in immoral behavior while doing it "yourself."

How did you arrive at your interpretation?

[Steve]

Shenanigan
Another key difference is that, in spite of the liberal tendency of "live and let live," when Democrats get caught, they tend to resign whereas the other side does all it can to hold on to power. Can you say John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, etc. etc.? While the left makes no claim to moral superiority, they do take the responsibility for their failings. What do you want to bet that this guy will have a press conference, with his wife at his side, and say that his asked for God's forgivenss, as well as that of his wife, family, and supporters? As Rainier pointed out, you folks have an uncanny knack for ignoring what is inconvenient to your argument. Total hypocrites!