I miss Mitt

I miss Mitt Romney. I knew I would. In the last circus revue, the former governor and flawless demagogue could, with his own steely, unblinking ones, look you straight in the eyes and declare two and two are five and never miss a beat. Mitt was consummate ooze. His convictions and shape shifted according to time, place, and need. He could be severely conservative one moment and borderline rational the next. And he did it all as smoothly as crap barreling through a goose. His stump and interview performances were, in their corrupt and perjured ways, Shakespearean things of dark beauty. Iago with a mic and gorgeous hair.

I was hoping for a 2016 encore. The GOP's fresh slate promised to be a few cuts above the comedy cast of '12, but without a Mitt Romney, it could never approach first-class slither. Scott Walker shows potential; it'll be years, however, before he masters political debauchery. He's not a natural, which is to say, he's no Mitt.

So, Jeb Bush is all we have, and he's looking more like a W. doppelgänger every day: loads of money piled on robotic, talentless ambition.

Yesterday, at the Iowa Ag Summit, he gave "long replies to simple questions," reports Politico, and they "made him seem overly cautious and unwilling to just say what he really thinks." There's nothing wrong with that. Successful pols are never forthright, and no one expects them to be. Bush's problem is the colorless manner of his long replies, entailing, as they do, absolutely numbing blather. To wit: "Asked what America’s relationship with China should look like," Bush responded that "It’s one we need to manage with great care because of the complexity of the relationship."

Heaven or Hell help us. Mitt would have knocked dat one outta de park — he would have cast China as our #1 foe while never retreating from the proposition that Russia is, too.

Even worse, Jeb's mannerisms are eerily brotherlike. The other day I watched his CPAC act live! with Sean Hannity, and there was Jeb, bobbing his head and craning his neck like a pelican, sweeping open his arms as though something profound was coming from his mouth — "We should be focused on growing the economic pie," he bellowed at one point — and swaggering while standing still. Perhaps he can't help his mannerisms, but he should try. We too recently suffered eight years of them — nearly a decade of presidential body language that not only screamed unmistakable shallowness, but a deep self-awareness of it.

Mitt would be doing better — much, much better. I miss him. I really miss him.

 

Comments

[Peter G]

I do know how you feel. Mitt had that delightfully oleaginous slipperiness without seeming too heavy and greasy to be digestible. Which is something of an achievement in its own right. Jeb seems to be going with the sleep aid strategy. The soporific nature of his replies to just about any question are pretty effective at disarming criticism. If you even remember what he said, anything you might object to is easily countered by the on the other hand part. I call that Kerrying forward.

[David & Son of Duff]

""Asked what America’s relationship with China should look like," Bush responded that "It’s one we need to manage with great care because of the complexity of the relationship."

I don't think very highly of Jeb Bush but that is the most intelligent thing any American pol has said about China for ages!