Jared Fogle goes from the private to the public dole

Reposted from July 7

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Sort of gives a whole new meaning to a 6" Subway sandwich in hand, does it not? Not to mention the side order of "milk." From the Indianapolis Star: 

Police investigators raided the home of Subway pitchman Jared Fogle early Tuesday.

Investigators from the FBI, State Police and Postal Service were observed outside while an evidence truck was parked in his driveway. Fogle was seen leaving the truck. Multiple items have been moved from the large, brick home and into the truck.

It could not be immediately confirmed why police were at the home.

There's the presumption of innocence and all that, but yeah, it's also a real mystery, seeing that "In May, former Jared Foundation executive director Russell Taylor was arrested on federal child pornography charges." 

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So much for that "presumption of innocence."

I never did understand why Subway chose this minor-molesting jerkoff for its spokesman. Merely the guy's looks gave me the creeps. Now he's looking at "between five and 12½ years in prison for handling child pornography and having sex with a minor" — and the taxpayers' cost of protecting this creep in prison will probably exceed the amount of his Subway loot.  

 

Comments

[Peter G]

I understand prison food is a little heavy on starches. Enjoy your new diet Jared. Good thing about subway though for it will apparently enable him to pay 1.4 million in compensation to his victims to the tune of 100 thousand each. If fourteen is the total number of victims. Which I now doubt. Small comfort to the victims and their families to be sure but most such victims get only seething anger.

[Bob]

Subway used (creepy-looking) Fogle to employ the "healthy" PR angle hawking their mystery meat and processed food product trimmings on plasticized torpedoes with sides of 1000% marked-up cups of bubbly caffeinated sugar water. Fogle lost 245 pounds in 11 months by eating two "low fat" Subway sandwiches a day, presumably skipping the soda. It seems as likely the diet worked because of lack of nutrition as anything else, but a story for the times is a story for the times.

In these days of food-related health problems such as obesity, diabetes, celiac and allergic reactions, even the most worthless of edibles can be made aesthetically healthy through PR. For example, top shelf corn chips are no longer pushed by cute if politically incorrect cartoon characters like the Frito Bandito, they're gluten-free, non-GMO blue corn, sea salted and cooked (not fried) in pure canola oil. Since the Subway business model includes TV ads, they might do well to come up with a trim cartoon character for the future. At lease kids could relate with no possibility of being inappropriately touched. Except by the sandwiches.